The Crapzzz
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Hopefully you'll read this...
Through out everyone lifetime, one would have make countless numbers of mistakes... Mistakes leading to deep regrets. I made the greatest mistake of my life, letting my easily influenced yet strong feeling of sadness and anger blended together to take over my heart. A mistake leading to serious consequences, a mistake that broke not only my heart but yours. Tears blurred my vision, anger and sadness took over me... I was staring out of the window, at the ever beauty of the silver moonlight when i received your SMS. Sadness started to gather as I know though i tried to change, there's still something that you can complain about me. I hated myself... I wanted to know what is wrong with me, so that I can change. The complain remains a mystery forever. When you told me about lev, hatred formed... I don't understand everything- Why you tried so hard to make Bryan and Lev a pair? So hard that it gives you stress, affected your feelings, devoured your time... And yet the repay you get, is just a hurtful advice... I don't know what state i was in... I just wanted to stop this topic. U went on... In my uncontrollable state, I gave in... I was furious with Lev, I want to forget everything. I DESIRE that i can go back in time. I would reply: "I would not want to ditch you... For I need you because I love u... I would continue to do my best, trying bits to make you happy." I want you to know that I'm really sorry... I'm angry over myself, for not treasuring you... I wanted you to hear the slapping sound i gave myself. I wanted to express my regrets. I got no chance... I know you're angry... Please don't feel angry anymore. I still have feelings for you and I didn't meant to give up... Think about Ronald Susilo and Li Jia Wei. Both are different, in their language, in their culture, in their life... Yet they love each other truly despite the differences they had. We maybe different but we can learn to accept each other. Perhaps what Lev said make more sense, for she's your best friend afterall. If you feel what Lev said make more sense, carry on with it... I don't know if you want to accept me as a friend after all this... Sugar, Darling and the many things I used to describe you, don't feel angry... I never meant to hurt you... I'm sorry... Dui bu qi...
I need you because I love you... Cheer up...
IcyRoy took a breath on 9/01/2004 09:32:00 AM