The Crapzzz
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Was visiting my ye ye's sister on tues who is quite old. Its like as the year passed, I visit lesser and lesser of my older relatives. [Ya shud know why] And her husband got lai ren chi dai [I dunno wad is it called in eng] but all i know is that his memory is failing and things close to him start to fade away. Right now, he even forgotten my dad's name and i guess that by next year, he wudnt even rmb my dad.
Just some food for thought:
Ever wondered how you'd be when you're old in your 60s, 70s? As you live each day seeing more and more of the people around you disappear, as you live each day in fear thinking when it'd be your turn. As your memory starts failing and you start forgetting about things that had happen before, starting from the insignificant and gradually, to the things close to you and memories sweet or bitter, painful or joyous and finally the one you swore to protect, your wife/husband. Would it be one with many wishes, dreams, goals unfulfilled which you thought you could after you retired but realised you no longer have the youth and vigour to do so?
E to the MO.
Lead me, guide me.
IcyRoy took a breath on 2/22/2007 09:54:00 PM
Monday, February 19, 2007
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR DUDES!
Just got back from Genting Highlands and feeling pretty much awake now after sleeping for like 7 plus hours on the bus. The trip wasnt as fantastic as I imagined, prolly because there was no mean of communication between all of us and most of the time the whole big big family is not together unlike the previous years in tour group. Damn, shud have bring some walkie talkie or wad. And it SUCKS to be like a like a 16 year old teenager cause you feel pretty old but you cant do certain things like going to the casino and gotta stick to the usual mode of entertainment. In case you guys dunno me well enough, Im the youngest in my family and all of them have reached the supposingly legal age of 21 while Im not. And while everyone were like inside there trying out their luck, I got left alone. Didnt really do anything exceptionally unique there such as going to the theme park or wad. Only visited the Ripley's Believe It or Not museum today but gotta leave after 1 hr inside because we got to check out. It is quite an interesting place to be in but regretted not going there earlier. Tried the firing range thingy as well. Bleah, it wud be great to have either judo clique or 203 clique there as well. Seriously, we wud rock the peak down. HOW COME NO ONE SUPPORTED MY IDEA OF TRIP TO GENTING LAST YEAR??? >.<
I just realised Im getting old. My bro had like turn from 25 last genting trip to 30 now. 2 more years to NS for me and then Uni then adulthood. Phwoar.
I'd rather smell fart than smoke.
IcyRoy took a breath on 2/19/2007 11:08:00 PM
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Well, made my JAE choice last night at around 1, am going AJ and am gonna join back judo again. End result, see how yar?
Officially celebrated Valentine's Day for the first time in my life. Okay, maybe it isnt the ideal one on one date but a double date instead but well, it was still okay. There was some last minute desperate shopping and all that but things turn out well. Feeling a mixed of emotions now, positive one lar, duh. Wad day is it today manz? XD Thanks for everything. You made it special.
Back to school tomorrow after the quite long JAE break without seriously doing much work. Am gonna just focus during lectures and tutorials before fri, CNY celebrations and then ta-da. GENTING [pronounced as KEN TING] here I come!
Muggggg....
IcyRoy took a breath on 2/14/2007 08:24:00 PM
Monday, February 12, 2007
Bleah. Why i feel this sense of coldness now?
The feeling kinda sucks.
Stay strong.
IcyRoy took a breath on 2/12/2007 01:09:00 AM
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Headed down to Bedok today to support the judokas from SJI, CJC and FORZARA Judo Club in Kyu Grade Competition. For the first time in like 4 years, this is my first year not playing it and I somehow regretted it. >.< Like theres only four people in my category while there are like 9886217835812 pple last year in mine? Initially I thought cause I like only trained 3 times this year so prolly gonna get owned or what but then leonard who got gold told me he like only trained twice this year so yar, i was like =_= damnit.
Anw, congrats to my fellow SJI peeps namely ZHENYI, Boon Ping, Joey, Wesley and Andre. Zhenyi, first medal after 5 years of plain shit tough training. Good Job manz, ya choke kinda freaked me out as well lar. Congrats to the CJ and FJC medalists as well. As for people like Yihan, who lost due to the always frequent kayu referee, nvm. Theres three more competition this year, train harder and made use of the experience gained in this comp eh?
Project V XD
IcyRoy took a breath on 2/11/2007 11:44:00 PM
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Okay, today is the day when we reaped the harvest from the seeds we had sowed 4 years ago, the release of the O level result. Well, dun really know what to say. I mean in the first place I wasnt really even feeling nervous/excited about the result and yet, I expected myself to fare DAMN well. But well, I got 10 and I cant really say I am contented over it, especially the A2s which bites so much. Just felt that I didnt meet my parents' high expectations set in place by my bro and sis. Although they didnt really say anything and in fact, sounded encouraging, I guess I let them down. Still rmb the release of PSLE score, when I scored 1 mark less than my bro, my mum scolded me although I felt that I did pretty well. That left a scar within me.
Somehow felt SJI so unfamiliar when I went back today. I realised I made alot of much better and much more understanding friends in AJ. Pple there were much more sensitive in their thinking and were much more encouraging. Come to think about it, there wasnt really anyone who I could turn to when I was pretty much desperate and in need of help. Each had their own clique and unfortunately I thought that mine sucks. Still missed the prayers and cheers in SJI though and Ms Goh whom really helped me out alot the last two years. Anw, Congrats to Auggy for achieving 10 A1s and XD and Lex for achieving 8 A1s.
Now comes the choosing JC part once again. I dun wanna think about it.
Somewhat feeling uncertain about myself and things happening now.
Aint gonna lose control, Am gonna stay strong.
IcyRoy took a breath on 2/10/2007 12:00:00 AM
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Oh man, this god damn feeling sucks.
Seriously, I dun have enough time to do what I want and ought to do. I somehow feel suffocated now, staring blankly at the maths tutorials on my table, having no clues at all on how to solve despite reading through the notes twice, thrice. And not to mention, its the first thing I had been working since afternoon. I just feel inferior or a sense of kiasuism, when there are people in my class who are actually so ahead of tutorials while Im like stuck here, struggling to follow up and barely making it. They make things look so easy while in fact, its not. Half the time I dun understand what is going on in lectures and most of the time, I dun have time to even read through notes to at least try and understand. Why other PCME class ends like so freaking early, while mine ends at like 4plus? Why others can like easily adapt to JC life while I cant? Why is everything so cramped together? Why am I stuck in this fucked up meritocracy system? Its my life damn it. I rather go bathe my rabbits now and bring them over than to do HW. I rather go exercise than stone over some stupid questions which I prolly gonna have no use in the future. I rather talk with ya on msn than to pretend that u arent online.
I feel the stress. But I dont need consolation. I just need a place like this where I can express how I feel completely. Seriously, no consolation. I can get through this.
Now its back to squeezing my brain juice, thats what the world wants.
IcyRoy took a breath on 2/04/2007 05:11:00 PM
Friday, February 02, 2007
Phwoar, living life without internet kills manz.
But then, the past week had been pretty tiring as well so I doubt I wud have much time to blog also. Had been busy moving house. Yep, u got it, I moved house liao and sadly, IT WASNT EXCITING AT ALL ONE LOR. I rmb last time i always thought that it wud be but then, now i kinda missed my old house with my own personal room and thrashy guys gadgets like xbox, tv, powerful hi-fi, posters and postcards with skippy hoppy there as well. My mum like dun wanna me to bring skippy hoppy over lor. Sadists. And sleeping with another man in the same room is like so weird. Haha, not any man lar, my bro. But hes like 29 so yar. Its quite tough for a messy guy like me to actually keep my room clean or wad since my cupboard is mainly white. In fact, i do have my messy finger print all around le.
Wed, we went to turf city to run for track training and well, it was a freaking tough route, with 200m plus uphill and a damn mental testing long zig zag route. The scenery was nice, the countryside feeling, dun really felt like i was in SG there lor. But then, the place quite forested and i got bitten like shit all over my bodies and red freaking dots are like popping up everywhere. My shins are cracking.
Today, had cross country at bishan park instead of the usual maritchie or however u spell that place coz they were supposingly to have renovations going on or wad. The route quite nice to run on but then, maybe because its my first time running that route, i completed the run still feeling pretty well for a sprint. Bleah. >.< Hope im at least top 40. Before that, went out with 16/07 for class lunch although it wasnt really considered a class lunch since we were all splited up. Still not very close with some of them yet.
Lovefiesta at JJC tmr.
At times, u seriously do make me feel damn sweet. <3 Cupcake.
IcyRoy took a breath on 2/02/2007 08:13:00 PM