The Crapzzz
Oh well, had trng today... Heard from the coaches last week that trng wun be that xiong liao and indeed, it it true. Only did uchikumei, moving uchikumei, throwing, changing hip and osoto gari... Sounds alot but compared to prawns, bamboo jump, duck walk, god... This is paradise man. Since trng isn't xiong, YJ and I decided to put in some effort, by throwing each other during moving. Wait, it was him who kept on throwing me lar... I didn't throw at him at all. First time i did shoulder throw on such a fat partner... Always got a phobia since i'll always screw up my throws when throwing big heavy pple one. But than, at least i managed to throw YJ today. Oh well...
Went out after trng to orchard to celebrate someone's bufdae... By simply walking around and window shopping lor. And I realised how boring i can be. Haiz, wads wrong with me? How come I can't put down my past... Perhaps I had seen too much that I shudn't see, known too much that I shudn't know, think too much in what I believe. I'm too naive. There is like a complete 180 degree change in me. Swept off my feet and can't stand up. Emotional stress. Where's the me in me? Yar, even if I can go back in time, it wudn't be that me u once know of again... Why can't I knock it inside my head... A knock so deep, so pain that I wun forget. Its over now... And it will be forever. Argh, damn pissed with myself for believing so much in myself, in others. I'm weak... It had been a year now. I had been constantly deceiving myself for one year and yeah... What can I do? I'm just hopelessly helpless... And tired... Treated like a used doll... I just dun wanna go on interpreting things, believing that it still there when its gone... I dun want to...
Love can never last...
Release me from these chains... That neither u nor me can break.
IcyRoy took a breath on 6/22/2005 12:06:00 AM
